Things I Will Never Be

First in a proper bike race

Immaculate and graceful

Stoked, about anything

Organised and equipped

100% sure of current location

Focused upon a single objective

An “A” road rider

A one bike man

Maintenance free


An enemy to other road users

Comfortable in a large group

Pleased with my performance

Ambivalent to my surroundings

Bored of Great Britain

A single discipline rider

A triathlete

Dreamless and mapless

Under ambitious

A follower of “The Rules”

A folding bike rider

A user of the word “awesome”

Polluted with chemicals

A wheel builder

A plodder

A sprinter

The guy who’s line you follow

Proper at grammar

Dismissive of the achievements of others

Owner of a properly indexed drivetrain

A seeker of the flatlands

Unhappy when cycling




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One comment on “Things I Will Never Be
  1. dick layzell says:

    Good to see you’ve started blogging again, was worried that you were bored. We are embarking on LEJOG using the route you sent me a couple of years ago.